Calling all crime fighters!

So many causes, so little time to paraphrase an often used, often re-worded catch phrase. Whether it's a political candidate you endorse or despise, an environmental crisis, a group of people or lifestyle, there is a cause for which just about everyone can take up. How wonderful that we live in a country where we are free to do just that! Yes, there are places in the world where such liberty is denied; thousands have lost their lives for their beliefs. Shedding light on social plights is not a 21st century idea. In fact, it's what started this country, isn't it?

What is impressive is doing something about a particular cause on a small scale and recognize it as a global issue. Simone de Beauvior, a French social activist, has been credited with having laid the foundation for modern feminism. The fact that she found a cause in which she deeply believed and shared her knowledge with others so they, too, might share her passion was admirable, if not heroic. In an age where sharing thoughts was limited to word of mouth, the written word and a very limited telecommunication her impact was phenomenal. Even more so because it continues today!

Often times, shedding light on a social injustice is not welcomed warmly--if at all--by those who disagree with it. Still too there are those who disagree that the problem even exists! And so it is that today, it is hoped that light will be shed on an invisible population: children who have a parent that is incarcerated.

When a parent is incarcerated, often a family loses income. This loss can lead to others: housing, transportation, food. While the community offers resources--if the family is, in fact, aware that such opportunities exist--what about those things that aren't readily available? This country is a plethora of resources: Homeless Bus helps folks in New York, Family Promise is a national effort and Rainbow Village is a model example of a multi-faceted approach to eradicating homelessness. Communities offer food banks at churches, for example. The Place of Forsyth County offers food, work force coaching and emergency assistance.

Isabelle's Book Club, Inc. is dedicated to saving lives: the lives of children whose parent is incarcerated. These 'life savers' use books to save lives! No, they don't don red lifeguard bathing suits. They wear smiles and encourage kids to read.

Reading saves lives?

Yes!

A child who isn't reading proficiently by third grade is at risk of not graduating from high school. You see, children learn to read in grades  Pre-K to 3rd. After that, the read to learn. Reluctant readers become frustrated and quit school. As a result their job choices are limited at best. How can you provide for your basic needs without gainful employment? Well, it's tough, so criminal behavior starts looking like the best choice. When there's a cycle of dysfunction in a family (crime, domestic behavior, addition), sadly it can become the norm.

The folks at Isabelle's Book Club consider themselves crime fighters. We do, too! Giving children the resources (lots and lots of free books), they can strengthen their reading skills and improve their academics. Better grades equates to better jobs. Better jobs, well, less time for crime.

Channel your inner Batman, Wonder Woman, Marvel Agent and fight crime in your neighborhood. Support Isabelle's Book Club. Donate, follow them on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and Tumblr.

A Satisfying Life

The object of this blog is to connect two women who, at first glance, have very little in common. One is deceased, the other very much alive; they are of different nationalities and lifestyles. To find similarities is a challenge; other than both being females, they seem to have little in common. This struggle is real. It also involves research into the life of Simone and self-reflection.

What were her thoughts on a particular issue and what are mine is then the basic premise of this blog.

So in order to write the next post, I need to do figure out a topic Simone's written about and then figure out my thoughts on it.

To be honest, this is the explanation for infrequent blogs. There's a lot going on in my life and frankly, time to read another of her books works is virtually non-existent. Sadly, I can't email her for an explanations or clarifications if I did read another one. Nor can I call her.  As much as I would have loved to, I don't have the option to spend the afternoon in her apartment talking nor can we head to the local Starbucks and discuss life over lattes. I can't call her loved ones, companions and writing muses for a variety of reasons including their deaths and a lack of ability to speak/understand their native French.

I often turn to articles written by others about her as they're informative, often contain quotes form her and are easier to read. Simone often wrote at length about political issues of her time, most, if not all, of which I am unable to connect. When one has an existentialist view of the world like de Beauvoir, it's tough for me to relate to it.

Random thought: Can you imagine a blog written by Simone? From what I've read, she's a 'pen and paper' kinda gal and would detest the internet. 

I did however, find that illusive common thread that I seem only capable of finding when I'm about to toss in the preverbial towel and terminate this blog. Permanently. Again.

Madeleine Gobeil interviewed de Beauvoir which was published in the Spring/Summer 1965 issue of The Paris Review  during which de Beauvoir says that she doesn't envy anyone.

The statement struck me as odd. Doesn't everyone envy someone at some point? How could she say she didn't envy anyone? Envy has been around since biblical times, so it wasn't a matter of not existing. Envy exists today, no doubt. In fact, I believe it's the cause of cyber-bullying, tax fraud, and other criminal behavior. I'd even go so far as to connect it with bankruptcies and prison terms as people attempt to keep up with the Joneses at any cost.

So how was Simone not envious of anyone you might ask? Further reading provided insight.

"I'm perfectly satisfied with what my life has been, that I've kept all my promises and that consequently if I had my life to live over again I wouldn't live it any differently," de Beauvoir said.

So I paused to reflect on my life. When I did, I realized that I, too, am satisfied with how my life has been. I want to continue that satisfaction for all my remaining years. What could I do to accomplish that? Plenty! Travel (hike the AT,Europe, Alaska for starters) and learn to paint with water colors for starters.

Meanwhile, I'm grateful for everything I have: loved ones, a God of my understanding who loves me, the ability to see sunrises and sunsets and kept promises.

Mostly, though, I'm satisfied.

Valentine's Day: it takes guts, people

This may be the first year I don't get on my soap box about how declaring feelings for another person should only be professed annually. Besides the face that 'annually' is usually associated with things like a colonoscopy, mammogram, and prostate screenings, I believe in telling people that you love them daily, like brushing your teeth, drinking 80 ounces of water, and taking a vitamin.

Go tell them.  Now.

This isn't about saying something to them because we all know how quickly life can change and how we aren't promised tomorrow. No, it's about sharing you feelings daily with those who mean so very much to you. Remind yourself how much they mean to you by telling them.

Instead, I am committed to tie this blog to Simone. And then her to me, which is a challenge that I love. Really.

I found out that Simone, like me, was raised Catholic. She went to a convent school and I went to a parochial school (for Kindergarten). We must have had vastly different experiences because she wanted to become a nun. Me, well, I just wanted the pretzel rods and chocolate chip cookies for snack. At fourteen, however, Simone apparently had a crisis of faith and became atheist. At that age, I discovered boys and any hopes of life in a convent were dashed. 

The story goes that Beauvoir's family finances were strained and jeopardizing her chances of marriage. She decided to do what she'd always wanted in addition to providing for herself. And therein lies a huge difference between the French young woman and myself:  she did what she'd always wanted to do. 

When I first learned of this decision, I thought she was gusty. That Simone was tough, determined and decidedly insistent on doing what she wanted. I, on the other hand, lacked guts. Instead, I did as I was told, did whatever was 'right' in the eyes of my community and most of all, did what would make my parents proud.....and unknowingly make me miserable.

Side note: Although my life has been and continues to be full and I am quite content (with only one regret--a tattoo--which is a story for another day), I did have to grieve the loss of what I wanted most as a career. I'm fairly certain I'm too old to start it, but I am determined to get into the field, just in a different capacity.

Today I see Simone's decision as one of self-love. She loved herself so much that she did what she know was in her best interest. Research suggests that she was only the ninth female to graduate from the Sorbonne. That's some pretty serious self-love right there. Imagine all those male-dominated classes. Did they even have a ladies' room in the building? She probably used the men's room if she needed a bathroom.

The Sorbonne, Paris, France

Side Note 2: I wasn't miserable as such. Disappointed is more like it. Disappointed in myself for not having the guts to stand up for myself. Sad that I didn't think I was important enough to do what I wanted--which was a career in law enforcement--because the required schooling wasn't 'prestigious' enough in the eyes of my parents. 

It's now clear to me that I lacked that self-love then. I simply didn't love myself enough to want what's best for me. Or at least attempt to get it. However, I do know that today, I have that secret ingredient in the recipe of life that makes it a bit more flavorful. That love for myself that makes me want to celebrate ME on Valentine's Day. 

So I encourage you to celebrate this Valentine's Day, the day set aside for love, and declare that YOU are loved. YOU are enough. YOU are worthy. YOU are lovable. Celebrate YOU! 

Relax, February only has 29 days this year!

Continue it through March. You'll be amazed as what changes will occur in  you and those around you.

As for me, well, I haven't decided how I'll profess my love to the most amazing woman I know: ME! Maybe it will be with chocolate (dark) or flowers (gardenias or peonies or violets). Maybe it will be with a copy of one of Simone's books so she can "share the love" on Valentine's Day.

With love!

“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.” ― Helen Keller

Relationships. We all have them. Friends.  Family. Family of origin. Family of choice. Those that we share our deepest, darkest secrets. The same people who we tell our goofiest, most embarrassing moments, confident that if we ever want to re-live those moments, our friends will be right there with us.

There are hundreds of thousands of books about how to create them, save them, and even end those that are no longer important to us. The important thing is to have them and treasure them.

Muhammad Ali once said that “Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not somethingyou learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.” 

I am happy to say that I know the meaning of friendship.

My friend Susan has been diagnosed with cancer. The nasty tumor--she's shared photos courtesy of her surgeon, who, in my humble opinion, needs to stick with surgery and not consider a career in photography--is growing in  a region near her lungs and heart.  It is, according to Dr. Photographer, the same width and length of his hand. 

Susan had her procedure Friday morning. She had faith and confident in the skills of Dr. P. She also had friends at the hospital waiting for her as she was wheeled into her room from recovery. It was those loving women who broke the news. 

The tumor was too big to remove.

When I heard the news, I was reminded of Helen Keller's quote "“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.”  

To many, Susan may seem alone. Her beloved husband passed away years ago, her daughter lives across country, and her other daughter may not even recognize her own mother at this point due to mental illness. But being alone is hardly a way to describe Susan. 

The next day, Susan's "Army of Women Friends" as her daughter lovingly refers to us, was ready to accomplish their mission. One drove Susan home and stayed the night. Another ran to the store and picked up prescriptions. A third delivered a homemade meal. OK, so I cheated and purchased dessert, but it's the thought that counts.

A changing of the 'guard' happened the following day and more meals were delivered.  

Later this week, Susan will meet with her oncologist and together, they will work up a plan. A battle plan. 

Susan will undergo treatments (chemo and radiation) to reduce the tumor and when appropriate, Dr. P. will do his thing again. In the meantime, a friend is looking into a permanent adoption for Susan's cat.  Others will visit, bring food, drive her where she needs to go, and support her.

Most importantly, they will be a source of love and comfort. They will give of their strength so that Susan's  fight against cancer is stronger than were she fighting alone.

Some of these friends are the same that rallied around Susan when her husband passed away suddenly. Others have been in her life only a short time. Regardless of length of time, it is the love they feel for her that's important. 

In his book The Road to Daybreak: A Spiritual Journey, Henri Nouwen wrote “When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.” 

Susan's army consists of those kinds of friends. By supporting Susan, we support each other. We laugh together, we enjoy naughty humor, and we love each other. 

And so, as we walk with our friend Susan in the dark world of battling cancer together, she is reminded that she is never alone. She has many, many dear friends who love her. Together, we will fight her disease.

We  will do a lot for Susan because we know she'd do the same for each of us if need be. 

As this post draws to a close, I'd like to share one more quote that seems befitting of my friend Susan who swore that she'd dine on steak and chocolate should her prognosis not be a lengthy one. It's from Linda Grayson, who wrote “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” 

Her Life Was Not Without Controversy

From The New York Times September 29, 2005

Whose life is? Really?

And so what if it is? Controversy builds character. Don't let it tear yours down.

What matters is how you respond. A wise friend once shared "what others think about you isn't your business and what you think of them, isn't theirs". Seems I have an intellectual friend after all. Just one more thing I share with Simone.

What Would You Ask Jodi Arias?

Jodi Arias is on trial for killing her ex-boyfriend Travis Alexander years ago (2008, I believe).

I watch the trial live thanks to HLN (Head Line News) and InSession. Truly it can be a day of television between morning reviews of the previous day's testimony, actual court coverage, and then a re-cap. Panels consists of attorneys and Nancy Grace, Ryan Smith, Vinnie Politan, and Mike Brooks. Jane Velez-Mitchell also comments.

Sometimes I feel like a voyeur. Sitting comfortably at home (eating lunch, doing laundry, chatting with other Arias trial watchers) and I learn things about our judicial system (who knew lawyers have strategies?). An interesting side note is that jurors serving on a trial in Arizona (where Arias is on trial) have the chance to ask questions of witnesses). The jurors have 100 questions for her and lawyers will review them and state their objections prior to Arias responding.

I've learned, too, that the family of Travis Alexander is sitting in the courtroom. His siblings sit and listen to testimony that describes--in graphic detail--his sex life. Days upon days of various kinds of sex. They also see crime scene photos including his decomposing body. The body that was stabbed almost thirty times, shot, and had its throat slashed from ear to ear, almost to the spine.

Arias has admitted to killing Alexander claiming self-defense. She claims she was defending herself.

Like many others, I have concerns, questions, and doubts.

My concern is for the Alexander and Arias families. They don't want to hear detailed descriptions of sexual acts performed by two consenting adults, one in her twenties and one in his thirties. Frankly, I grew bored after the first thirty minutes. I, for one, cannot imagine my parents listening to stories of my sex life. I don't want to hear stories about what my siblings are doing between the sheets, on the kitchen table, or wherever they find themselves engaged in sex.

I feel a lot of sympathy for the relatives and friends of Travis Alexander who listen to Jodi Arias trash the reputation of their loved one as she attempts to portray him as a sexual deviant. Travis seems to have been an intelligent, fun-loving man who loved women and appreciated his healthy sexual habits.

The questions I have are these: if the defense wanted to make a case that Travis Alexander was a sexual deviant, was it necessary to take weeks to do so? Even if his sexual practices were considered by some to be outside the norm, how does that justify taking his life?

My doubts are simple: I think she committed pre-meditated murder. She planned it. She had motive and opportunity. It couldn't be self-defense. There is no evidence (except the word of a person who has changed her story three--maybe four--times) to support her claim of domestic violence.






I fully doubt that she lived in fear of this man. Instead, she chose to participate in an on-again-off-again relationship with Travis Alexander. It could be described as 'friends with benefits'; that is if you think friends can murder one another. Afraid? Hardly. When she was arrested, she smirked for her mug shot, explaining 'that's what Travis would have done'.


What I truly take issue with is the portrayal of domestic violence that the Arias defense team is arguing. I find it offensive. There are thousands of true victims of intimate partner violence--both male and female--that suffer physical and emotional abuse at the hands of controlling, manipulative individuals. Jodi Arias is making a mockery of those individuals. People have died at the hands of their abusers. Children are living without parents because of domestic violence related incarceration and death of the other parent.

Victims often struggle with coming forth about their abuse. They are frightened of the judicial system as well as facing their abusers in court. These people are to be encouraged to come forward so that abusers can bear the consequences for their actions: arrest, hearings, incarceration, perhaps therapy. When they do press charges, they slowly regain their self-esteem and power over their own lives. Their abuser slowly loses control and the power to dominate. 

So my questions for Arias are these:

how do you justify tearing down the courage of genuine victims by professing to be one of them?
do you realize that if convicted, you could face the same fate as abusers of these victims?
what is it like knowing that come October, when the nation recognizes the victims of Domestic Violence you will not be thought of?

May justice prevail.

WWSD?

Long, long ago, the whole WWJD? craze began. It was a reference to 'what would Jesus do' and it was intended to make people think about their behavior. Was it appropriate? Kind? Christian? Argumentative? Dishonorable? You get the idea.

Since my last post was last year, I thought I'd better get blogging. But what would I write about? Where have I put my research on Simone--you know, the French feminist with whom I have so much in common--and what moment of her life can I connect to in mine? What Would Simone Do? OK, it's not that catchy. Nor will there be a bunch of bracelets and t-shirts emblazoned with the cheeky slogan.

Maybe I need to hang out in my local cafe with intellectuals like she did. The problem with that is my dislike for intellectual conversation. My brain needs stimulation, but not the kind where I have to think. It needs for me to make reactionary comments. Just keep firing them off. Whatever pops into my head and out of my mouth. BAM!

I'd rather trash Jodi Arias and her pathetic attempt to portray herself as a meek, innocent woman.She's the reason why victims of domestic violence, intimate partner violence and family violence don't want to press charges against perpetrators. She is making a mockery of this crime and for that alone she should serve life in prison...with a mean @$$ cellmate.

I'm open to discussing possible reasons why Nancy Grace wears that confounded bobby pin in her hair. Or why she interrupts people. Does she interrupt people in the line at the grocery store? I bet she doesn't even go shopping because she'd be mobbed by fans.

If those categories aren't of interest to you, how about Mike Brooks. He's the former law enforcement hottie on InSession. The guy's got sass and a cute face, to go with his 'tude.

Yeah, Simone is probably trying to hack into my blog and remove her name from the title right about now.

I get enough brain exercise with the work I'm doing. But I need balance, so I go to People magazine for a diversion. You see, when a friend and former co-worker is diagnosed with Stage IIIB colon cancer at 37 years old, intellectual conversation can wait. What becomes a priority is silly conversations, laughter and friendship. Discussions about setting up single friends with doctors or what color stripe to get in her wig when the time comes are better for my brain. Do ostomy bags come is different colors so it can be coordinated with an outfit?

Since she's battling colon cancer, the potty jokes are endless.

Colon cancer is a pain in the @$$.  Wipe away colon cancer. Bottoms Up (the new motto for a colonoscopy).

These silly, mindless thoughts create endorphins. If laughter is the best medicine, then my friend Claire has kicked cancer in the colon.

Like she says, 'you can laugh or you can cry'. I say laugh because crying leaves you with red puffy eyes that sting when you close them and a nose that would make Rudolph jealous. Laughter leaves you exhausted and sated...and if you do it right, you'll start laughing all over again at the craziness of your behavior.

It's loco. Claire's loco. That's why a 5K benefit was created in her honor. Simone has a bridge, but Claire has a road race. People came from Kentucky and Tennessee to run for her in Georgia. In January when colder than a mother-in-law's kiss as they say. Nobody ran for Simone. There were 130 people who ran in Cocoa Loco and many more will run in the next one on January 4, 2014.

Want to know more about Claire? Check out her blog! Just don't blame me if you laugh until you cry. She's like that, you know!!   http://mycrazyliferearranged.blogspot.com/

More About The Bridge

The Simone de Beauvoir pedestrian bridge is therefore anything but a mundane structure,
as is amply illustrated by its winning the 2007 European Steel Design Award.

Red Dresses

I think of my blog often, but not often enough to do something about its continuity, probably because it requires time and thought. And research. I am in constant pursuit of information regarding Simone. There are times when I regret this blog. It’s dependent upon me for its survival and there are days when I just don’t have any more resources to give to it. If only it could whine, my maternal instincts would respond in a nano-second.


So, today, many months since my last post, I write with motives that are not exactly honorable:  I am avoiding the completion of an on-line a test with a deadline of seven hours from now. I’m at work—where the noisy atmosphere isn’t conducive to studying for the exam, let alone taking it—where I’m encouraged to attend to academics when time allows. So I turn to Simone.

Simone, who had numerous published books through-out her lifetime, has a bridge in her honor, and has been deemed a feminist icon, empowers me to take on the world and leave my mark. Simone’s first book was published when she was 35. I’m officially behind schedule. Moving on.

I also feel some sort of weird expectation to live up to an award I received as an undergraduate which bears her name. She haunts me. Her books line my shelves. I read her work and want to write. And empower other women. And inspire them.

deBeauvoir's The Second Sex, Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter  and several other works, live happily on the same shelf as Memoirs of a Scandalous Red Dress, and Confessions of a Little Black Gown, romance novels by another favorite author of mine, Elizabeth Boyle, who creates heroines which are strong, smart, determined, and beautiful. They also attract men based on these formidable characteristics.

Boyle inspires me, too. Author. Wife. Mother. Friend. She has written numerous books—seventeen earning their spot on The NY Times Best Seller List. Not bad for a woman who started out as a paralegal. Today, Boyle tweets about her personal adventures in everyday life—pie-baking, kid toting, book-promoting, knitting wife. Boyle inspired me because she’s genuine. Life is filled with opportunities when it’s a full as hers. But when I visit Boyle’s website, I want to become a Boyle heroine. I want to take my own personal adventure.

Memoirs of a Scandalous Red Dress was one of the first Boyle historical romances I ever read. It invoked the idea of a party where all the attending women wore red dresses (as scandalous or ‘non-scandalous’ as they want. Why a red dress? Wear one and you’ll understand.

Don’t believe me? Check out the “Red Dress” episode on the Katie Couric Show and “The Traveling Red Dress Revisited”.

My red dress was donated to a local thrift store benefitting a women’s shelter. It will live on and change the life of another woman. In the meantime, I am going in search of a new one. Probably not scandalous. Certainly empowering. I hope it will make Boyle and deBeauvoir proud.

I'd be willing to bet Simone had a red dress, too.

The Next Chapter

Most don't know of Simone, let alone know that there's a bridge named after her in Paris, France.  I'd like to think Parisians and feminists are proud to know of her.  I recall the first time I saw her portrait and, honestly, my reaction was that she bore an uncanny resemblance to Wallis Simpson.

Wallis Simpson

Simone de Beauvoir

Maybe it's their center-parted, pulled-back, tightly twisted and wind-defying secured hairstyles. Or hair color. Maybe it's the look of certainty they have in their eyes and the determination with which they lived. 

Both ladies have had an impact on women today. 

Simpson may be for some a dramatic, romantic figure for it was because of her a king gave up his throne.  Ironically, the king's niece became queen of that country and continues to celebrate her 60th year as HRH Queen Elizabeth II.  How many women long for the kind of love that King Edward VIII felt for Mrs. Simpson?  He gave up E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.  Kingdom, wealth, respect of the royal family and court.  For a twiced-divorced woman, who was also, perish the thought, an AMERICAN!  In the end, she lived life as she wanted and with whom she wanted.  I'm sure the extensive collection of jewelry softened the blow of knowing she'd never be Queen of England. There isn't a bridge that honors Simpson that I know of.  There are numerous gossipy writings and scathing accounts of her partying ways, though.

Simone de Beauvoir, on the other hand, philosophized the world that a woman and a man should be treated equally.  According to Biography.com, "Simone de Beauvoir revealed herself as a woman of formidable courage and integrity, whose life supported her thesis: the basic options of an individual must be made on the premises of an equal vocation for man and woman founded on a common structure of their being, independent of their sexuality." 

Simpson, it is said, used her feminine wiles to get what she wanted; de Beauvoir used her mind and her pen.

So I suggest that we try and follow in the footsteps of deBeauvoir. 

Why?  I'm not going to get into the history of feminism, but suffice it to say that because of Simone, I, as a women, can share my thoughts on this blog and it should be treated the same as that of any man. We are all equals, despite physical abilities.  Sure men can do one thing standing up.  Big deal.  Personally I enjoy taking a few minutes to sit.  Maybe because I've been on my feet doing nine other things in the last ten minutes and a chance to sit is welcomed.  Woman can give birth; I don't think that makes us 'better'.  It makes us incredible.  Talk about a miracle!  Carry a living being around, nurture it and bring it into the world.  Not 'better' but different.   Men and women are created differently and together, they work well.  So why must we designate one better than the other?  Why pay one more than the other?  Why subject one to ridicule, abuse, and even death, at the hands of the other?

Follow in the footsteps of Simpson, and where does it get you?  Ostracized, banished, and the subject of books.  Be inspired by de Beauvoir and you write your own books! 

And then there's the whole bridge thing to consider.....

Simone and Arnold Schwenegger

The world is abuzz with news of former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's love child. He admitted to fathering a child about ten years ago. He just now told his wife, Maria Shriver, and their children. His declaration is apparently what sent her out of their marital home.

When I read this news earlier today, I had a gazillion thought racing through my mind. First was initial shock. Then it was sadness for Maria and the young people who call Arnold 'Dad'. My heart goes out to them. Having to deal with personal issues is one thing; doing it with the world watching is quite another, I imagine.

I read somewhere that Arnold had pulled a "John Edwards". Now we're naming bastardizing children after politicians? Seriously? Arnold is apologetic and explanatory. I just don't buy it. Sorry. Is he sorry now? As in now that he was "caught"?

For years the secret was easily hidden. The mother of the child said that her husband was the baby's father. OK, so the affair is relatively easy to hide and the pregnancy is explained. Now what?

The Schwarzenegger marriage may be over. What about the mother's marriage? Will it survive? Was the husband blindsided by the news? Did he read about in on TMZ.com? In the Washington Post? Or did she, his wife of however many years, fess up?

Schwarzenegger has issued statements including public apologies and has asked that the press leave Maria and their children alone. In addition, he has stated that he has been financially supporting the child. Why confess now? Who 'wins' with this confession? Arnold. Just Arnold. His conscience is clear, but he's also left a path of mega destruction.

And then there are the children whose parents engaged in sex outside their marriages.

What in the world will the 'love child' be told? Granted the Schwarzenegger family is comprised of young adults. They may be able to grasp the behavior. I'm fairly certain they won't like it or approve of it. However, there is a child whose world is about to be turned upside down. The man thought to be "Daddy" really isn't.

Why has such behavior become acceptable? Look at John Edwards. He eventually fessed up. What ramifications has he endured? His wife left him. Now he's entangled in a coverup scheme over a film proving the infidelity.

Can a lesson be learned here? Yes. Here's a very blunt one: affairs ruin lives. Guys-- keep it in your pants. Ladies--if he cheats WITH you, he'll cheat ON you. No exceptions! None. Not even Prince Charles. His infidelity is probably going to cost him the crown. There are high costs when a couple has an affair. The biggie is a loss of respect. Any respect anyone had for you is gone. Even those who may consider you a "big stud" or pat you on the back for bedding another woman, deep down they think a whole lot less of you.

 
In case you aren't aware of the irony in this, let me share it with you. Simone-Ernestine-Lucie-Marie Bertrand de Beauvoir,or as I call her, Simone de Beauvoir--the woman whose name appears in the title of this blog--was involved in a relationship with Jean-Paul Sartre. He asked her to marry and she declined. They never married nor did they live together; however it has been noted that they shared lovers. Apparently Simone and Jean-Paul preferred “mén•age à trois” to “monogamy”.

So now we have a distinct difference between Simone and me. One of which I am most proud.

As for Maria, I think she'll survive.  I believe she will even come out stronger when this all calms down.  She is part of America's dynasty and deeply respected by Democrats and Republicans alike.  Most of all she is loved.   

The Twenty-Six Letter Imagination: A Children's Book Blog

On a totally different topic, here is a great blog.  The author clearly has a heart for children's lit and is brilliant. 

If that alone doesn't convince you to follow, how about the chance to win a book?  I'm not going to give any more details -- you have to visit the web yourself.

However, the blogger does give LOTS of opportunities to increase your chances of winning.  How cool is that ?!?!  She's practically stacking the odds in your favor. 

These are just some of the ways she give you an extra chance:

* You may receive one (1) extra entry for posting a link to this giveaway on Twitter using the hashtag #26letterdragon or tagging @26lettersblog


* You may receive one (1) extra entry for "liking" "The Twenty-Six Letter Imagination: A Children's Book Blog" on Facebook.

* You may receive one (1) addition entry for posting a link to this blog on Facebook and mentioning this link in your comment.
* You may receive (5) extra entries by posting about this giveaway on your own blog and providing me the link to your blog entry in your comment below.  I wonder who is doing this right now ?!?!? ;-)

Now that I've increased MY chances of winning, you'd better get crackin' on yours.  Click here.  Good luck!

Untitled and unemployed

Hello, Dear Readers,

It's been way too long since I last blogged. Why? To quote one of my favorite movies, Top Gun, "the list is long but distinguished."

Job hunting would be the first reason, if I start to list them all. Gone are the 'good old days' when one applied for a position by mail and received a phone call to set up an interview. Lately, I apply online and receive an automatically generated "do not reply to this email" message that basically says 'don't call us, we'll call you'. While I can certainly understand how this arrangement works for productivity and such by eliminating personalized letters and other things requiring individualized attention, the silent treatment doesn't fly with me.

First of all, if I'm taking the time and considerable effort to apply for a position within your company, I'd like to be acknowledged. To that end, you've generated your auto-acknowledge email. I can't begin to tell you how my heart races when I see a (1) in my Inbox becaues I think it's a request for more information or an interview.

Secondly, since I took the time to handcraft a cover letter and resume, please extend to me the courtesy of an individualized reply. I don't send a "one letter says it all" to you and all the other corporations, organizations, and institutions. No, I don't even use a mail merge function in MS Word. I painstakingly re-write each letter to reflect the position and its requirements.

Next, I'd like you to send me a message saying that the position is closed. Otherwise, how do I know that I'm still being considered? Remember, you've stealthfully hidden all forms of possible human contact for follow up.

When you decide to extend the offer and the lucky candidate accepts your offer, please do me the kindness of sending me a message indicating that the position has been filled. It's disconcerting to sit and wonder if you're still searching or not. Honestly, I'd rather receive an email of rejection than not know. While that may sound odd, it provides closure. I realize this might require effort on your part because you would have to generate another "do not reply to this email" message, but I'm worth your effort. Really.

Having been at this job hunting 'business' for some time now, I wonder if there really are jobs out there or if job postings are just a way to see who's interested in your company. I only apply for those jobs for which I qualify. I don't pad my resume to give myself more experience. I won't waste your time reading an application of someone who clearly isn't qualified.

Thanks for letting me vent. I must return now to applying for jobs. Hope to hear something...anything...OK, anything but crickets... soon.

Confession is good for the soul and for conversation

Hello, dear readers and let me begin with a heartfelt apology for my lack of posts.  It would be so easy to tell you that I've been on a whirl-wind adventure or stricken with some horrible affliction that prohibits me from writing.

The truth is that what has prevented me from writing is a sheer lack of desire.  As I've sat around trying to formulate the start of a post, I would be paralyzed by the idea that off the top of my head I had nothing in common with Simone.  The panic could only be alleviated by research and, honestly, the last thing I wanted to do was read something philosophical.  I've been doing a lot of scholarly reading lately and wanted a change.

My semester break reading list includes light-hearted, you-know-how-it-will-end, fun books.  Yes, some have smutty sections.  I will state loud and proud that not only do I enjoy "bodice-rippers"--I also have a select view in my library and they are inscribed, too--but one day I hope to write one. 

There.  I've said it. 

Back to Simone and Me. 

Then it hit me.  A commonality.

Simone and Sartre and their intellectual peers would sit around for hours and talk.  About what exactly I don't know, because I've been working on my "Semester Break Reading List" and making serious headway.

The point is that Simone and her peeps were found talking, socializing, and smoking in public places.  Surely the size of the gathering would grow as other friends stopped by to share their thoughts.

I went to the local Wal-Mart recently to grab a few things and spotted some great folks who I hadn't seen in a while.  In fact the last time we visited was in Wal-Mart.  Marge and I chatted about everything from what's been going on lately in our respective lives--she was quick to point out that I hadn't posted anything here--to what we'd be doing in the near future. 

No, we didn't get involved in serious, philosophical discussions.  Nor did we smoke (it's prohibited and not a habit of either conversationalist).  We stood, shared, and enjoyed our conversation.

Marge's husband joined in and the discussion flowed to his passion, fishing.  I have been three times, so I couldn't relate much, if at all, to his stories, but enjoyed them none the less.

My point? 

I don't know.  You see, I started this post months ago.  I had forgotten about it until I found it whatever it is that Blogger.com calls the place where my posts, both published and saved, are stored. 

As I re-read it, I changed "Summer Break Reading List" to "Semester Break Reading List" along with a few other editorial corrections.  I thought I could use this saved draft as my latest blog.  I can't because I haven't a clue as to where I was going with it.

Now, I have chosen to post it and publish it for all to see.  I started it with a confession and will end it similarly. 

I'm fairly certainly Simone is rolling in her grave, shocked at my audacity to 're-blog'. 

Hopefully, she's also grateful that I've given her something new to discuss with Sartre, et. al.  where ever they are. 

Contest Winner!

Attention, Dear Readers! 

As you may recall--and if you don't, scroll down to read it for yourself--I offered a contest to see who could come up with the best "re-purposing" idea and it was a tough decision.  Thank you to all the contest participants.  Your ideas were incredible, inspirational, and innovative.  I appreciate your efforts and am grateful that I have such brilliant followers! 

So, not to keep you in suspense any longer, I hereby declare, announce, and state that the winner is:

French Fries on Wednesday

French Fries offered a clever ideas of using a game table as wall art.  I noticed it in the background of her bowling pin book-end photo submission.  Two entries for the price of one.  It's easy to see why she is the winner! 

Check out the blog of this ultra-creative person:  http://frenchfriesonwednesday.blogspot.com/ 
I dare you not to leave her blog craving her mouth-watering recipes. 

It's my hope that you've enjoyed this contest; I hope to include others in the future. 

So, in keeping with the French theme, I end this post.

Jusqu'à la prochaine fois, mes chers lecteurs.

Simone de Beauvoir LIVE ! Sort of

I have found footage of Simone de Beauvoir and would like to share it with you, my dear reader.  I hope you enjoy it!  This footage was taken from youtube.com.  Modern technology never ceases to amaze me.

A First! So What's Next?

Having read my first book by Madame de Beauvoir and recorded my thoughts, I find myself excited at the prospect of a new challenge:  reading all eight of the books currently in my possession written by Simone de Beauvoir. 

Hardly an arduous task, but one that finds me trying to decide which one to start.  My collection--don't I sound like a bibliophile--of de Beauvoir consists of the following:

A Very Easy Death

All Said and Done

Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter

The Prime of Life

The Woman Destroyed

After the War Force of Circumstance

Force of Circumstance volume II

When Things of the Spirit Come First

So, beloved readers, if you have a preference or would care to encourage me to one particular book or another, I'd be forever in your gratitude.  At this moment, I think I may try Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter since it might flow nicely after the post about A Very Easy Death.  I can't help but be intrigued by The Woman Destroyed simply because of its title.

Non-Traditional

A Very Easy Death by Simone de Beauvoir

This small paperback, a mere 123 pages in length, is the firsthand account of the death of her mother. I chose to read this book for a number of reasons, the least of which was its length, which explained how I was able to read it in two nights. I’d never read any of Madame de Beauvoir’s work prior to this one and was interested as to her style of writing as well as her work in general. A Very Easy Death presented a way to appease my curiosity in addition to provide a possible connection between Simone and me. That it did.

I saw a number of commonalities, and in the end, I realized that despite language, lifestyle, and beliefs, Simone de Beauvoir and I do have commonalities. For example, we are both daughters, and although she had one sister, I have two. We both lost a parent rather suddenly; mine in less than twenty-four hours and hers in less than a year. Both our deceased parents died as a result of the same malady.  It is the relationship between mother and daughter that struck a chord with me. 
The mother-daughter relationship is as complex as it is simple. Simone describes hers as “a dependence both cherished and detested.” Well said, Madame de Beauvoir. Luckily my blog is not a psychological endeavor so Science and statistics will not be included: I will speak from personal experience. Furthermore, since the comments and thoughts are mine, I have the benefit of not citing any works, which, dear reader, is a complete joy!

According to my research, Francoise de Beauvoir was domineering and her religious beliefs clashed with those of her atheist daughter, Simone. It has been said that Francoise wanted the lives of her daughters—Simone and younger daughter, Poupette—to be the way she envisioned them and befitting the bourgeois lifestyle in which she grew up. To return to the list of commonalities with Madame de Beauvoir, suffice it to say that reading about her “daughter-hood” was akin to reading about my own .

To me, there is no greater weapon of mass destruction then imposing your will on someone else. I draw your attention to the strained relationship between mother and daughter de Beauvoir. The younger de Beauvoir wanted nothing to do with such traditions and way of life that her mother preferred. My mother wanted a traditional lifestyle for me as well: earn a college degree, get married, have babies while being the best wife (i.e., supporting my husband’s career through proper social behavior and attending events as the dutiful wife), raise the child(ren), send them off to college and watch the circle continue.

Since tradition was all I’d known, I didn’t have the opportunity to take in the bigger picture—that of Gloria Steinem, Betty Freidan, and all our “Foremothers” who pioneered the path of equality for women. I was raised on all those “happily ever after” stories. Too bad they don’t come with “troubleshooting” instructions since I never had a fairy godmother, seven short guys, a mermaid’s tail, or even a wicked stepmother to feed me apples.

I wanted my parents to be proud of me, and associating pride with love, I tried my darnedest to achieve that pride. When I went to college, I set about finding my college sweetheart so that we could live “happily ever after” despite my lack of a mermaid tail. The man I met and dated was a brilliant scholar, clearly on the corporate ladder and destined to achieve greatness. He earned his undergrad and graduate degrees quickly and with honors, and went about finding his niche. I earned my “Mrs.” Degree by choosing a man of whom my parents would approve and proceeded my walk down the traditional path. I packed my bags and followed along as the young wife. My parents approved of him whole heartedly. Why wouldn’t they? He was intelligent, ambitious, good-looking, and would take care of me “til death do us part”.

Update: we are both alive, but the marriage is not. Our daughter just graduated from college and our son completed his freshman year. He socializes with my family.

It is now, many years later, that I am living a somewhat non-traditional lifestyle. I am finishing the degree I started way back when and I’m certain of my major. Really! Granted the chances for a job were far greater had I graduated “on time”, but I wouldn’t have changed a thing. To me, being non-traditional means attending the collegiate commencement exercises of your child and finding it an inspiration to attend your own.

Housework in Space !

I was quickly reminded of Madame deBeauvoir's thoughts on domestic chores:  “Few tasks are more like the torture of Sisyphus than housework, with its endless repetition: the clean becomes soiled, the soiled is made clean, over and over, day after day.”

Even in space, domestic chores are futile!

For more amazing photos from space, click here

Prizes! Prizes! Oh My Prizes!

The prizes have started to arrive and my excitement continues to build about the contest.  Maybe it's the amazingly good-looking UPS man and his flirtatious ways that have me "twitterpaited" as Bambi would say. 

I know I have plenty of readers who are creative, so put on your "Re-Purposing" caps and get started.  One artistic reader offered using a beer stein as a pencil holder, a vase as a toothbrush holder (which counts as two re-purposes since the word can be pronounced with a long "a" or short one), and making a bracelet out of buttons.  Dare I say this reminded me of THE WATCH at Funky Chicken Art Project so much so that I needed a moment to collect myself before continuing to read.